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Sometimes, the truth just hurts.

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

measure e distant. tired


i dont know wad's wrong.
i juz don feel good. i dont lyk this kind of conversation. i guess no one does. it's getting on to me. i'm tired.
i thought i knew u. i thought i understand u. but e hurtin truth is. i dont. i noe i sound paranoid. but y?

maybe u dont know how i feel and wad i'm thinkin or mayb u noe but juz choose to filter it.

i cant choose e path right now. where were we when we needed each other? we only blamed one another. right now at this particular moment i'm feeling e distance. seems tat things have changed. i dont know y but. doubts are arising. i'm not sure if i can carry on walkin. i feel tat my emotions and thoughts have crippled me.
perhaps. it's time to review. to think over. i dont want to come up with a bad conclusion. but i cant stop thinkin. i felt this way for a reason i have such thoughts for a reason. perhaps both of us are tired. do we need a break? do we need some space and time? i'm tired i reali am. how many times or nite do i have to spend feeling lyk this. i reali hate this feelin. please. it's hurtin. almost killin me. i noe we must come up with something to stop this. but wad? i don wan an ending to anything.
but neither do i wan this pain.
unreasonable, askin so much yet givin so little. i can go on and on about all my bad points. perhaps this is e root to e problem. this is y things are goin this way. perhaps...

forget it. who's gonna understand this. who's gonna feel this? who's gonna understand the tears i shed in e middle of e nite. e doubts i have in my mind. i don feel secure rite now. soakin up my pillow with tears is such a routine rite now tat it's affectin my emotions. i don function properly anymore. i don even tear to touchin scenes. u don see this u, u don understand this perhaps u don care. is everything a lie? a living lie?

i feel lyk hiding away. somewhere tat i'll be isolated from everything everyone. somewhere where i can only see happiness. mayb juz for a while.

*a love that don grow, withers.

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LOVE JAS. 01:06