enough is enough

i'm sick and tired of my dad's constant rattling about how my brother or even my SISTER is better, both directly and indirectly. tired of my sister pickin a fight over e most trival thing or even startin a fight when everything is actuali ok.

since young my dad has hardly given me any compliments. no matter how hard i try to please him, scorin fr tests and exams achievin something. it never seems to be enough for him. everything i do will nv be good enough for him, constantly comparing my bro to me even till now. i'm reali reali tired. y should i even try to do something big or achieve something when i'm not goin to get any recognition at all? not even from my own dad. wad's e use?... wad ever for.

as for my sister all she does is pointin finger at others. she nv listens or reviews her own mistakes. u're not all saint and holy lyk u think u are for ur information. i noe i'm NOT someone that's perfect but neither are u. yes u bring home mints but i don. dat doesnt mean that u're perfectly wonderful. take a good look at urself b4 critisizin me.. reasons i don listen to u, is i don think u give me e respect or reason for me to listen to. u scream at me askin me to clean my butt when u didnt even clean ur own ass. (for u info this is only a sayin. i don literally meant CLEANIN the butt.)

till now i can remember so vividly the day when i told my dad i scored good results durin primary sch at e front steps of my old house. he would say

"so... oso not A. ur brother ah always score high scores one ah. he's principle and teachers always call me to sch to drink coffee with dem juz to tell me how good ur brother's results ah.. from pri sch till sec always laiddat one.."

AND WHEN I GET A BLOODY A OR HIGH SCORE. my dad would say.

"den good lo. ur brother ah.. blah blah blah...(he'll repeat e sentance above.)

and e part where he say "den good lo" isnt EXACTLY a compliment. it's lyk " good la." in a veri I DON REALI CARE kinda way.

but on e thing i manage to stumble upon is tat my brother's results in secondary sch wasnt exactly as GREAT as my dad claim. in fact it's pretty bad. so wad does this prove? he's son is always the best no wonder in wad circumstances. WADEVA.

i had enuff. seriously think who will be e one takin care of u and *CHOI* puchin u around IF u're wheel chair bond. when u turn 70 plus who will be payin attention to ur needs or takin care of u? ur's truly. believe it or not. i seriously don think it'll be ur son. i rmb my mom tellin me

"u better study properly and show some results so tat u get a good job. i won't be countin on ur sis and bro to take care of me when i grow old"

in another words. my mom is able to see clearly tat i'll be e one providin her needs in many ways. but my dad is so blinded by how great he's son is. he can hardly see anything. seriously. cant u see he's payin attention to he's FAMILY far more den us? if all u wanna do is stay stubborn and rigid over e obvious fact der's nothin i can do. but is it worth it?

if one same stupid situation happen to both my brother and me. he's reaction would definately be a whole lot diff. i would get e BAD kinda reaction (obviously *roll eyes*) but my brother. HAH say no more.

seriously enough is enough. now i juz wanna complete my studies get a job get married move out pay them back and walk off. i had enough of being e punchin bag. e gal who gets all e punches when others are stress or unhappy. (and again i don mean it literally. no one is punchin me.)

fucked up. super duper fucked up.

Labels: heart to none