heart felt thoughts. words from within

ok was suppose to wake up 8am today.. but i seriously cant wake up la.. i slept around 6 in e mornin.. it's lyk only around 2 hrs of slp only la.. felt rather sick so went back to bed and only woke up around 11 plus? lol

ok was reali quite sick la.. plus my cough is lyk nv endin lo craps... ok anyway we headed down to tangs wantin to get stuff purchase from ana but so happens tat everyon eis out of budget-.- lol ana and i had a lil catch up chat..and unfortunately she still rmb wad happened in e past and she sort of reminded me to take of myself and warned me not to let any asshole jerk to hurt me anymore.. haha she's lyk my actin mother la.. "i tell u are better not let guys cheat or hurt u anymore ah." lol den came e "so thick skin" conversation

ana: wa got so busy meh.. need organizer some more"
me: of cos.. now got alot of dates hor.. lol"
ana: wa got bf oredi ah?"
me: haha no but got alot of suitors (LOL bhb)"

ana seems so happy when i said tat lo.. lol wad sia.. -.- but thanks to her reminder lo.. at least i can constantly tell myself to watch out.. haha don fall into another never ending hole.. unless it's a hole of "happily ever after"

thou things have died down and it's oredi e past but deep inside me i'm afraid to touch those memories.. those memories are lyk broken shattered glass when ever i think of it it's lyk touchin on shards it hurts.. somehow or rather it still hurts alil.. this is preventin me from startin a new.. but somehow or rather i manage to forget alot.. i choose to forget cos i reali want to.. it's true tat everyone make's mistake and it's ok to make mistakes as long as we rmb our mistakes and nv repeat dem again.. but i reali wanna forget tat forget everything.. i wan all those shards and broken glass clean from e lil small dark corner deep inside of me i wan it to be as clean and clear as crystal..

Ps. i will nv forgive u.. not even when i'm dead or my nxt future life times.. call me a bitch but i wil curse u.. wad goes around comes around.. however deeply u've hurt me i wish with all my heart tat u'll get 100times of that, perhaps more.. so much tat u'll push urself to e edge, so much tat u wish u were nv alive.. so damn much tat u wish u were dead. tat will be e day where i'll have e party of my life.. i'll cheer and party e whole damn nite. perhaps e party will go on for years.. thou i've been stupid and wasted my tears on such a stupid issue but u noe wad i'm happier than b4 i'm stronger, better and i'm back.. standin this time i'll prove wad i am wad i'm capable of without u cos i have lots more.. thanks to u i've found happiness.. thank god i lost u.. by losin 1 pathetic jackass shit brain i get a thousand better guys. THANKS JACKASS!

I'm SOOO enjoyin my life now! LOVE IT!~

Labels: heart